Last Big Show of 2016


This Saturday, November 19 is the last Teen Angst Night of 2016.

As a Canadian I’ve been shocked and appalled by the results of the American election so I’ve decided that 20% of all ticket sales will go to the American Civil Liberties Union who work to protect civil liberties in America. My teenage self, who protested her heart out in Calgary at events like Take Back The Night in the 90s (see photo above), would want me to take action.

We need to laugh. We need to love one another.We need to listen to each other. We need to speak up.

I’ll also be sharing some of my high school dramatic political action poetry and… some of my awful journals from Christmas 95 because it’s getting to be that time of year.

Teen Angst Night

Saturday, November 19 | show at 8 PM sharp

Fox Cabaret, 2321 Main Street

Tickets are $10 on eventbrite before Friday midnight or $15 at the door.

Eventbrite | Facebook Event

Say Wha Podcast

Say Wha?! The Podcast – Episode 43 Kyle Fines Introduces Us to Vegan Steven

Say Wha Podcast

Say Wha?! The Podcast shares recordings from the comedy show Say Wha?! Readings of Deliciously Rotten Writing in Vancouver, BC, Canada.

In this episode Kyle Fines reads from a book of vegan poetry.

Appologies for the sketchy audio levels. It happens.

Listen to the podcast on iTunesRSS feed, or just stream it HERE:

If you enjoyed this podcast be sure to like this post, tweet a link to it, or share it on Facebook.

Say Wha?! The Podcast – Episode 42 Chip Ellis Shares the Poetry of Leonard Nimoy

Say Wha Podcast

Say Wha?! The Podcast shares recordings from the comedy show Say Wha?! Readings of Deliciously Rotten Writing in Vancouver, BC, Canada.

This episode features a reading from the poetry month edition of the show by the always funny and charming Chip Ellis. Warning: singing and slightly bad audio quality.


Listen to the podcast on iTunesRSS feed, or just stream it HERE:

If you enjoyed this podcast be sure to like this post, tweet a link to it, or share it on Facebook.

Tomorrow is Teen Angst Night

Teen Angst Facebook Event

Tomorrow, Tuesday, February 17 is Teen Angst Night

If you know anything about me you should already be familiar with this event. I’ve been running it since I was barely legal. It started in Calgary in 2000 – that’s 15 years of making fun of my teen angst. My Teen Angst Night is a full grown teenager!

Last month a team of students from BCIT came and did a radio story about the night. It perfectly captures the fun of the event. Please have a listen here:

Still not sure about it? Need more information? Okay, here’s the full package. I hope to see you at the show! It’s going to be a great one. There’s a whole bunch of new readers sharing stuff and 4 of those newbies are men,


Somewhere in the back of your closet gathering dust and turning yellow with age is comedic gold. Those old journals, poems, and essays you wrote as a teenager when you thought you could do no wrong, would probably make you cringe at your former feelings if you were to read them today. Now, imagine sharing them in front of an audience. That’s exactly what happens at Teen Angst.

Teen Angst Night is an open mic comedic reading series where everyday people read from their embarrassing old journals, poems, songs, essays (and more). So, get digging through your old notebooks and find some gems!

You can share anything (poetry, songs, letters, journals, diaries, essays, stories, plays, lists, etc) so long as it follows these rules:

1- The work must be your own.
2- You must have written it between the ages of 10-19.
3- You can’t be proud of the work you share. It must be embarrassing or humiliating. That’s what people want to hear. Of course, you must also be over your angst and able to laugh at yourself. 

If you want to get on the list to read/ know about the next event sign up here:


Tuesday, February 17
Cottage Bistro – 4468 Main Street
Show 8-10PM
Tickets: at the door, $10, cash only

More info:

Verses Festival – Shut The Front Door!


I’m thrilled to be recognized by the Verses Festival and invited to share something amusing and writerly at this humour event Shut The Front Door – happening this Sunday, April 6.

Here’s all the info from the Verses Festival:

Both spoken word poets and comedians confront audiences with nothing but a microphone and their words. But their art forms are seen as worlds apart. What’s up with that? This talented group of funny poets and writerly comedians will blur the line between stand up and spoken word.

Doors at noon. Show starts 1pm.

Hosted by Brendan McLeod.

Featuring a whole bunch of awesome, namely:

Graham Clark
Cheryl Maddalena
Sara Bynoe
Fernando Raguero
& Al Mader aka “The Minimalist Jug Band”


Sunday, April 6

1pm show time

Asterino’s – 1739 Venables Street, VancouverBritish Columbia V5L 5C9  + Google Map

This show is All Ages. Box office and Will Call will open with doors at noon. Box office is CASH ONLY. There is an ATM located directly across the street. Advance tickets (see below) can be bought with PayPal or credit card. Tickets are $10 in advance, $12 at the door.

This is NOT an April Fool’s day prank. I’m really performing at this great festival with these talented people. 

Edinburgh Fringe – FOAD

That’s right, this is happening. Really soon. Today I’m flying to the London. I’ll take the train up to Edinburgh to hang with my awesome friend Daniel-Ryan Spaulding and even hang with the Literary Death Match people on Monday night. It’s going to be a very exciting time!

Wish me luck and tell all your friends who might be in Edinburgh so I don’t have only one person in the audience. Well, with this image on the flyer I might scare a few people away. Thanks to Vincent Parker for the poster design!

Haiku Finalist


Last week I participated in the Vancouver Poetry Slam’s Haiku Death Match.

To prepare for the event I was supposed to write 26 haikus. Did I do that? Sure.

What I didn’t prepare was 26 awesome haikus. Yet, by some magic I made it to the final round battling head to head with Duncan Shields, the reining champion. I was shocked and baffled that I made it that far. For my second place win I received $20 and some Hello Kitty pens, which is more than I got from the Literary Death Match. It was a fun night and I hope I have the chance to do it again someday. Next time I’ll be more sure of myself and come with better arsenal.

Here’s a sampling of some of my ‘better’ haikus of the night:

I spent more time on / your facebook page than I did / lying in your bed.

Remember that night/ we stayed up past dawn talking?/ We shared the same voice.

Your love was magic / it took away my heartbreak / to make room for yours.

Counting on fingers/ a man writes a short poem/ smiling while he does.

Drinking coffee is/ a social event make sure/ you bring your laptop.

A night of bad sex: / he snorted some ecstasy. Don’t f*ck the DJ.

Hmmm maybe I would/ win this haiku death match if / I made a dick joke.

… and one I didn’t share but should have:

Top news in London/ Riots in the streets. Top news/ here: bear attacks man.


For this week’s Story Time Tuesday I’ve decided to post a poem. Some of you may have read it before -if you’re a super online stalker. As I’ve been spending a lot of time lately hanging out on Main Street, debating if I should just find some dumb-ass serving job and remembering my days at Goldsmiths with my inspiring writing group, I figured this was an appropriate piece to post. Plus I’ve been too busy editing and rewriting my novel to write something new.

Main and Empty

one week before I got fired

waiting on tables
at East Van’s favorite late night eatery
across from the neon light store/ drug front
down from ten coffee shops in four blocks
next to stores with silk screened ironic t-shirts
locally made jewelry and retro records.

filling my arms with
local brew, sangria and the mix of the day
black beans on basmati
coconut milk and quinoa
mango, tofu, peanut sauce
large nachos the size of my torso.

two guys are sitting at a back table
drinking one p.m. beers
one hides behind Buddy Holly glasses
the other shields with a sleeve of tattoos

we talk
while white people with dreadlocks listen to hip hop
while the smell of spray paint loiters in the alley
while the new cook burns the chili
and I’m shedding dreams like onion tears

after three rounds
they left behind torn napkins
empty cigarette boxes
an insulting 6% tip
and a note


Things I Miss About London


Tube ride with little girl

The fake British accent I would put on when ordering coffee so that the Polish girls behind the counter could understand me.

Men who whispered ‘sexy’ under their breath as I walked through the Common.

Sitting on the top of a double-decker watching Trafalgar Square, Piccadilly and Kensington roll past.

Explaining what the difference is between Americans and Canadians.

Snog, Marry, Avoid.

The Book Club Boutique, Salena Godden, Tim Clare, Tim Key, Luke Wright, Hammer and Tongue, Michelle Madsen, The Troubadour, The Poetry Cafe, The South Bank Centre and their free wifi.

Drinking Pimms and Lemonade in Hyde Park by the Serpentine.

The clicking of shoes on the concrete floor of turbine hall as I meandered through tourists, children and art lovers.

Hipster hunting on Brick Lane.

Theatre. Really good theatre with extraordinary actors.

Gordon’s wine bar, Saf on Curtain road and Pret a Manger with those delicious cheese and pickle sandwiches.

Making fun of ravers and being told that pictures are not allowed at Cyber Dog.

The self-important feeling I got when I walked past people standing on the escalators in the underground.

My morning writers group at Goldsmiths.

French New Wave films at the BFI then walking around the South Bank at sunset.

Kim, Natalie, Arlene, Jess, Heather, Chris, Kevin, Jamie, and Neal.

Old News for a New Blog


Last year CBC had a Teen Angst contest for Canada Reads their annual literature competition between books chosen by well-known Canadian personalities.

These were the contest rules:

You can either write up a short description of one of your worst teenage moments. Or you can send in a diary entry from those years, with a little explanation if required.

The rules are simple:
-The judges will be looking for humour – even if the situation felt tragic at the time.
-The story or diary entry has to be your own.
-Maximum 250 words.

How could I not enter? I have to live up to my title as the Teen Angst Queen, after all. Honestly I didn’t think I’d win, but woohoo!

Title: Worst-Day-Ever-ish…Whatever

I was proudly walking to school with my best friend in my newest outfit from Value Village: camouflage pants, army boots, and 70s pajama top which perfectly complimented my faded purple hair which was clipped back with plastic ‘Days of the Week’ barrettes (Tuesday and Saturday). My punk-patched backpack was slung over one shoulder, as both would have just been l-a-m-e. Oh yeah, it was 1993.

Across the street from us was a gang of older yuppie kids we knew as, ‘The Flava.’ This was a name they had given themselves: sometimes they went as ‘The Flava posse,’ ‘The Flava Crew’ or just ‘The Posse.’ They wore baggy jeans and drove around suburban Calgary in shiny black trucks pumping early 90s hip-hop. These high school boys liked to call me and my friend, who were in jr. high, “The Dirties,” and in, “You’re such a dirty grunge rocker.” (Not the dirrty which Christina Aguilera later sung about in the early 00’s.) Sometimes they called us ‘dirty girls’ or ‘dirty punks’ or ‘dirty skids’ and one time, they raised a hand and uttered, ‘Yuck to you.’

We had walked a block away from The Flava when they pulled up beside us, rolled down their window, shouted, “Nice Pants Dirty!” then they threw an egg which hit me in the chest completely ruining my new vintage find. That night I cried and wrote a bad poem but I’ve never been able to wear camouflage since.