After my trip to San Francisco I got thinking about times in my life that I’ve been cat-called. It seems that men in different cities have various approaches to the drive-by hit-on. Sometimes they honk their horn, which is ego boosting but confusing as I never really know if it’s for me, some other lady on the street or a possible traffic violation. Sometimes they mumble something nice yet creepy under their breath like the men in San Fran who muttered ‘sexy, sexy, sexy.’ Sometimes they come out with genius lines that I want to put on a t-shirt.
Here’s a Top Five list of the most memorable things men have tried to compliment me with.
5. In Calgary, I’m walking on the sidewalk down 17 Ave and a man yells out of his pick-up truck, “Wanna fuck?”
Ah… no. Even if I did, what am I supposed to do, chase after him on the street?
4. In Montreal at the Forum. Me going up an escalator. Him going down, “MmmmmMmmmm!”
The memorable thing about this was that it did not in anyway come across as creepy. Only Montreal men can get away with moaning as a compliment.
3. In London, nearly every time I walked to the tube by my house some chav would suck his teeth and mumble, “sexy.”
This was a pretty … awkward way to start the day. Yeesh guys, get a toothpick.
2. From a homeless man by Science World in Vancouver. “Compliment of the day; you have nice boobs.”
I love this one because it really makes me think. Does ‘compliment of the day’ mean that this was going to be the best compliment I was going to get that day or does he only dole out one compliment a day and I was the lucky recipient. I also enjoy that he used the word boobs, any other word would have sounded crass.
1. In San Francisco an older black man sitting on a crate on the street pointed at me as I approached. “I saw your picture… in the dictionary… under hoooo baby!”
At first I was frightened – he saw my picture? What? Where? Who is this guy mistaking me for? Then I was confused – dictionary – what? And the ‘hoooo baby’ added the comic relief I needed after the initial scare. I laughed all the way down the block.
In case you are reading this and thinking, see women like it when I compliment them. Ask yourself, is it really a compliment? It’s probably not. 99% of the time catcalls are CREEPY A.F.