Admittedly, I might have been tipsy and a little stoned when I asked him out, but it worked. “Hi, I’m Suzannah. Who are you? What’s that? You’re new to Vancouver. I could show you around. You just broke up with your girlfriend? Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Here’s my card.”

I skipped the finding out who he was or whether he liked me steps. But I had bathed and was, in fact, wearing makeup.

But, “Haayyyyy”, it worked. He put a ring on that, which is a way better ending to a story than that time in Grade 7 (which I guess is middle school) when the hot guy wrote me a love letter in my camp journal and asked me to meet him at the playground that Saturday.

My BFF at the time – Karlee Biggar (yeah, I’m naming names) – read it and said that she liked him and it wasn’t fair that I got to go go out with him. He could either date both of us or he’d have to choose.

She actually followed me to the rendezvous. On her bike. We were two tweens biking toward our destiny on 5-speeds. Tragic.

I couldn’t make her stop following me. I was pissed. (This time I’m not talking about booze.)

At any rate, the hot guy got all polite and awkward and we never went steady.

If I’d only followed the 9-step program above, he would have my number and would have called me. You can’t crash a phone call on a bicycle. I didn’t even have call-waiting, so no three-way for you, Biggar.

20 years later, I’m glad to get that off my chest.
Thanks, Sara Bynoe.

Note to everyone other than Bob who already knows this info: stay tuned to Untold Stories of the ER on Discovery for a glimpse of me on TV.